InsaneJournal

Foolish Coward, Cowardly Fool, Chapter 9
Title: Foolish Coward, Cowardly Fool
Author: nishizono
Pairing: Severus/Harry
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Sadly, they aren't mine

Summary: After the war, Severus agrees to continue Harry's Occulmency lessons in preparation for his entrance to the Auror Academy.

Author's Notes: Fear not, this is not yet another work in progress. This story is complete, and chapters will be posted as I revise them.


~*~*~

Two weeks, five days, thirteen hours, and twenty-five minutes.

That was how long it had been since the last time Severus Snape had seen Harry Potter, and each moment of that time had been filled with such abject misery that he wondered how he had ever survived his time as both Death Eater and Order Member. It was absolutely ridiculous, absurd on every level imaginable- but then, Severus had not been imagining much of anything for the last two weeks, five days, thirteen hours, and twenty-five minutes except what might have happened had he interfered with his former student’s decision to leave.

Other events had transpired since Harry Potter had left Hogwarts, of course. The students of all four houses were now more convinced than ever that their potions professor was the devil incarnate, and had it been possible for a house to have negative points, Gryffindor would have found themselves in such a state. Severus’ sleeping pattern had been altered to include days of insomnia followed by afternoons filled with four hour naps and nights in which he slept for thirteen hours and only barely woke in time for his first class. He ate as little as Minerva would allow, favoring a bottle of brandy for dinner.

Of course, Minerva had very little to say to him as of late, as did most of his other colleagues. It took even less now to send him flying into a fit of rage, and his fellow faculty members joined their students in cowering as he stormed through the corridors. Even Albus had fallen silent after a few fruitless attempts at comforting his youngest professor- though, that may have had more to do with the fact that Severus had flipped the frame in his office so that it faced the wall, and anything Albus might have said would have been muffled and pleasantly indistinct.

It was Saturday afternoon, and Severus was standing in the kitchen of his quarters, clad only in the black trousers and wrinkled white shirt that he had fallen asleep in the night before. He stared at the bottle of brandy on the shelf, next to his mother’s china and his own chipped teacups, and considered beginning the morning by passing out in an intoxicated stupor. Deciding against it, lest Minerva come to check on him and find him lolling about on the floor of the sitting room, he set to work gathering up what was left of his thinning stores to prepare something that might have resembled a late lunch.

He had just twisted open the wrapper on his loaf of bread when he heard the door to the sitting room click open, and his hand stilled. Soft footsteps padded across the thick carpet, and he heard the creak of his bedroom door as it was opened and then closed. The footsteps grew closer, and he closed his eyes, leaning on the cabinet for support.

Harry didn’t speak as he entered the kitchen, hovering in the doorway for only a moment before moving further into the room, stopped just behind his former professor.

Severus could feel the younger man behind him, so close that he could feel the heat of Harry’s body through the thin cloth of his shirt. Fingertips touched the middle of his back, hesitantly sliding up his spine before a hand was pressed between his shoulder blades.

Without a single word, Severus withdrew two slices of bread from the wrapper before twisting it closed and setting it aside. Slender fingers twisted open the lid on the jar of peanut butter, and then the jar of strawberry jam, and he felt the fingers on his back tense as he coated the knife with peanut butter and slathered one piece of bread with it. A choked sigh was the response when he did the same with the strawberry jam, and when he pressed the two pieces of bread together and carefully cut away the crusts, the sigh broke down into soft crying.

Placing the sandwich on a plate, he turned, holding it out to the boy behind him as if in supplication. Harry blinked up at him, tears spilling down his cheeks, and took the plate from Severus’ hands, setting it aside on the counter.

“You noticed,” Harry said softly.

“You came back,” Severus murmured, lifting his hand to brush his thumb along the delicate line of the younger man’s cheek.

“Fool,” Harry muttered, closing the distance between them and entwining his arms around his former professor’s neck.

Severus bowed his head, lips hovering above those of the boy in his arms. “Coward,” he whispered.