Look What I Did

It's only three parts for now, but my desktop is up and (mostly) functional again, so I should be updating more frequently (as compared to, you know, waiting another six months).

1) Absence
Yes, I know, I've all but completely dropped off the face of the internet recently. It's due to a combination of things, including lots of Important Changes (new job, new house, etc) and seemingly permanent writer's block. The stories that used to take me five hours to write are now taking me three days. I've yet to find a solution, but at least I'm writing, even if I'm not as prolific as before.

2) Love Song
I know, I know, I made such a huge deal about Love Song, posted the first few bits, and haven't updated it at all in months. I'm sorry. There's no excuse other than laziness, which is a fairly flimsy defense. As it stands, I do plan to start posting again soon, whenever I'm able to get my desktop (where Love Song currently lives) up and running.

3) Layout
I finally stopped digging my heels in and made the backgrounds of entries white instead of black for the sake of readability. What do you think? Better, worse, no opinion?

4) Comments
Look! Look at my most recent story! I've been replying to comments! Are you proud of me?

5) Anonymous
They are legion.

Dear Lýsa and LadyB,

I just received the other two billion postcards you've sent me from England, and am currently wiping tears of mirth from my eyes.

Love,
Nishi

Because I should be writing, and I'm not...

Three Books
1~ Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
"Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta."

2~ Faust by Johann Wolfgang Gothe
"The Ancient One I like sometimes to see, but not to quarrel with him, am always civil. 'Tis courteous in so great a lord as he, to speak so kindly to the devil."

3~ V for Vendetta by Alan Moore and David Lloyd
"'Give me a viking funeral,' you said. That isn't much. That isn't much to ask, after all you did. You came out of an abattoir unharmed, but not unchanged. And saw freedom's necessity, not just for you, but for us all. You saw, and seeing, dared to do."

My wrists are feeling better, thanks to braces and ibuprofen (and TAP's constant reminders to wear said braces and take said ibuprofen). I still can't engage in marathon typing sessions without pain, which is bad for productivity but good for forcing me to take breaks. I've actually managed to get some writing done, though, so at least I'm not wallowing around in a fit of Impotent Author Angst.

I'll be making another post sometime in the next day or so to show off all the lovely things I received for my birthday. I feel bad that I haven't gotten to it sooner, but to be honest, I keep forgetting to do it. I have the memory of a ninety year old woman with dementia.

Which is why I haven't updated Love Song in days and days.

Also, I received the head of Prince Charles in the mail yesterday.* I'm tempted to carry him with me at all times and have conversations with him, for the sole purpose of driving everyone around me insane (and also to ward off small children).

TAP is in Europe at the moment. The last time I spoke with him, he was in Barcelona, but he should be in Zurich by now. I am Nishizono's seething jealousy. As payback, I plan to greet him at the airport wearing a black suit, sunglasses, and an earpiece, holding a sign that says, "BAKA." This plan will probably only amuse me and random Japanese travelers; TAP, I suspect, will be unimpressed.

The original novel is slowly but surely being written. What's that you say? Nishizono as a Proper Author? Frightening thought, I know. There is a distinct lack of explicit anal penetration in said novel, but I threw caution to the wind and let the protagonist be openly gay.

In other news, keep an eye out for Bad Emo Poetry. You'll see. I promise.

*No members of the royal family were harmed in the making of this post.

T: It's okay, I'm crippled too-- I lost my testicles in the war on drugs.
N: ...you lost your balls in the war on drugs?
T: Yes, the field surgeon replaced them with two condoms filled with cocaine.
N: ...
T: I'm basically writing your fic for you, you know.
N: ...
T: I demand royalties.
N: ...what the fuck is wrong with you?
T: Don't touch me with your cripple hands.

I've finally gone and given myself carpal tunnel syndrome, so I won't be typing for awhile. For now, I'm using voice recognition software, but there's only so much I can do with it. I'll be updating the exchange, and Love Song as much as I can, but most of my writing will have to be put on hold until my wrists feel better. With any luck, that will only take a few weeks. If not, I have a feeling that Dragon NaturallySpeaking will be my new best friend.

I'll still be responding to e-mails and instant messages, but expect a lot of misspelling and bad punctuation until I learn to use the software better.

Cheers.

ships_harry and I were discussing the various gentlemen who have made my brain their home; more specifically, the conversation centered on who would be sharing rooms. My mind is a place of very limited capacity, after all. We wondered what would happen if Draco and Shuichi were forced to room together, and came to one conclusion: nothing good would come of it. There would be tears, millions of tons of hair product, and eventually, much to the annoyance of their housemates, the formation of a lasting and very annoying friendship.

In the wake of that conversation, Scarlet has drawn a surprisingly accurate illustration of what's happening in my brain at any given moment.

( A Visual Guide to Nishizono Shinji's Brain, as Presented by Scarlet the Awesome )

The following discussion ensued after TAP sent me a link to his website which, temporarily, displayed a white page with black text that read: "Heather si a nub!11!1lololol kthx."

Nishi: ...
TAP: Do you like it?
Nishi: ...
TAP: I made it just for you.
Nishi: Yes, because nothing says undying love like netspeak.
TAP: It's the best website in the history of the intarwebz.
Nishi: ...jerk.

TAP: What are you doing?
Nishi: Burninating the countryside.
TAP: ...you realize that you're completely deranged, right?
Nishi: You say that now, but just wait until Trogdor comes in the night.
(One minute later, Nishi fails the song)
TAP: You got burninated.
Nishi: Indeed. Burninating has forsaken the countryside.

"Somewhere outside the fires raged on, threatening to burn the city to the ground." -Different

~*~*~

I spend every summer waiting for this moment.

( Outside, the sound of sirens echoed through the streets, carried by the ash-laden wind. )

Yes, we've all heard the news: J.K. Rowling has gone on record as saying that Albus Dumbledore was, in fact, gay.

I won't wax pedantic about what that means for the world of fan fiction. What I will point out is that her revelation received a standing ovation. I will tentatively say that the reaction this news has gotten, both at the event and in the media, means very good things for those of us whose original characters inevitably end up being bisexual or gay.

Just a few weeks ago, I was having a crisis of self-doubt over the fact that I cannot write heterosexual characters. I'd convinced myself that no one would ever be able to look past my protagonist's sexuality to see the story itself, and that I would inevitably be resigned to the dusty back corners of bookstores (if, indeed, I ever manage to get published at all). Now, there seems to be some hope for my characters, after all.

I've spent the last few months being quite angry with J.K. Rowling (read: throwing a childish tantrum because the last book didn't end the way I wanted it to). However, in light of this revelation, I can't find it in my heart to be irritated anymore. Either knowingly, or unknowingly, I think she's used her fame to open up doors for the rest of us who might have felt a little intimidated by the idea of letting our characters be themselves.

I very much need to find this story.

Harry/Draco.
The Forbidden Forest is on fire, Draco is in love with Harry, Harry doesn't care, and they die together in the greenhouse at the end.

Please?

The story is Wildfire.

On November 1st, millions will gather in cemeteries and parks to honor the memory of the departed. Altars strewn with candles and flowers will be erected to celebrate the passage of souls from the land of the living to the land of the dead.

To honor this tradition, a virtual altar has been erected at de_los_muertos in memory of the fallen heroes of the Harry Potter universe. Everyone is welcome to contribute (art, stories, essays, letters, poems), and the pieces need not be about death, as long as the submission focuses on one of the departed. Pieces can be written or drawn specifically for the altar, or they can be re-posts of already existing material.

The community will remain open for posting until November 15th.

So, Tiger tagged me to do this back in July, and it somehow got lost amongst all the other things on my To Do list. Besides, it's almost two o'clock in the morning, and I need to distract myself from the fact that I have to work tomorrow.

Five Things People (Probably) Don't Know About Me

1. I own an a coat that is worn only in cases of Extreme Writer's Block. It's absolutely ghastly: faux leather with faux fir trim, left over from my tragic 'goth' stage. I wear it only between the hours of midnight and five o'clock in the morning, and only when I'm smoking on the balcony. However, for all that it is a hideous reminder of Adolescence Gone Horribly Wrong, I am always attacked by plot bunnies while wearing it (not the cute rabbits that quietly munch on carrots, mind; the Monty Python rabbits with enormous fangs that kill legions of men in less than ten minutes). The Emergency Coat is solely responsible for Bad Faith, Always, and The Love Song of Sirius Black.

2. Although I am a devout atheist, I still attend mass on holidays at the request of my grandmother. Midnight mass on Christmas Eve was a tradition for us, and now that we're separated by thousands of miles, it makes her feel like we're still connected.

3. I keep paper journals. Then, I burn them.

4. I hate grape flavoured candy and soda. However, I have been known to eat a pound of real grapes in one sitting.

5. My most prized possession is an 1864 edition of Milton's complete works.

Also...

6. I plan to begin releasing The Love Song of Sirius Black into the wild on October 31st.

Backstory: TAP is, on the whole, a very stoic individual. This leads, on occassion, to him being unintentionally hilarious. Two years ago, he found a fake news story online about dolphins outfitted with poison darts that escaped from a government research facility. TAP-- the frighteningly brilliant astrophysicist-- fell for it. It quickly became one of those Things We Don't Talk About after I laughed at him for four days straight. Unfortunately, he made the mistake of bringing it up again tonight.

TAP: Do you remember that news story about the dolphins with the poison darts?
Nishi: (chokes on water)
TAP: (scowls) Don't start that again, I'm being serious.
Nishi: (claps a hand over her mouth)
TAP: (still scowling) Stop laughing, I already told you that really happened in Vietnam, and that's why I believed that news story.
Nishi: (quiet sounds of barely restrained glee)
TAP: (irritated) In Vietnam, they strapped dolphins with hypodermic needles filled with CO2.
Nishi: (biting her fist)
TAP: (snarling) It isn't funny. Dolphins have killed people.
Nishi: (rolls out of her chair onto the floor)
TAP: (crossing his arms and looking angry) Stop being so dramatic. You're laughing, but think how the victims must have felt.
Nishi: (kicking at the carpet) Stop, please stop, I can't take it.
TAP: (infuriated) You're impossible. Do you think those people's families think dolphins are this fucking funny?
Nishi: (laughs so hard there are tears rolling down her cheeks)
TAP: This is why I don't try to have serious conversations with you.
(TAP turns on his heel and stalks back into his office; Nishizono, meanwhile, collapses in another fit of helpless giggling)

( Dolphin Victim Memorial )

Merlin help us if we ever have our own cooking show...

Nishi: Stop spreading your thighs, you whore.
TAP: ...what are you doing?
Nishi: Trying to tie the chicken's legs together.
TAP: Oh for fuck's sake... Here, I'll hold them for you.
Nishi: That's a new level of kink, even for you.
TAP: Stop sexualizing roasted chicken.
Nishi: Shut up and season the damned thing.
TAP: (sighs and obeys)
Nishi: (thrusts two fingers into the chicken's arse) How's this for a sexualized chicken?
TAP: (hand jerks, covering Nishi's arm in salt) ...
Nishi: You're licking that up later.

Every time I watch Boondock Saints, I want the MacManus brothers to have sex. They never do.

Oh, don't look at me like you've never expected a movie to have changed somehow since the last time you watched it.

What am I even supposed to say to that? I'm just sort of quietly flailing at the moment.

Ladies and gentlemen, a word.

Imagine the following scene, if you will, and tell me: are they? Do not fret, gentle readers, that you know neither the meaning nor answer to that question. All will be made clear in time, and you, once so informed, will hold in your hand the key to the inquiry.

Shall we begin?

( Imagine this. )